The Supposedly "New" Middle East

Before

And After

Click the title for the article. Thoughts, everyone ? Is this for better or worse, and why exactly ? Think it'll happen anytime soon ?

Song of the Moment
Dance with the Devil- Immortal Technique

"I'm falling and I can't turn back....
....I'm falling and I can't turn back"

Rogue Pirate Ninja FAQ

A Rogue Pirate Ninja is neither a pirate nor a ninja. Being half of each, we are stronger than both. We are also rogue.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not ask questions. We already know the answer. It is kill. It is always kill.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja eats only one thing for breakfast. That thing is fear, with a side of bacon.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja does not drink rum unless it is mixed with the blood of our enemies.

Female Rogue Pirate Ninjas can only have sex with other rogue pirate ninjas. Her pussy would kill a normal man.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not have children. We do however, on occasion, spawn a tiny Satan.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not sleep. We run until we are not tired anymore.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not use weapons. We do our killing the old fashioned way, with our bare hands.

The skull and bones on a Rogue Pirate Ninja’s flag are always real.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja does not get drunk, no matter how much we drink. However, we are always slightly buzzed.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja does not feel remorse. The only remorse felt is by those who cross a Rogue Pirate Ninja.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas believe in a supreme being. This is because we are the supreme beings.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not bleed. We drip motor oil.

Chuck Norris once met a Rogue Pirate Ninja. He wet himself. Twice.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja is not born. We are forged from the bones of the people we killed before we were even created.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja’s ship is made out of blood. It floats out of sheer terror.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja does not cast a shadow; only a trail of dead bodies.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja fears only one thing; that there is no one left to kill.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja never fights one on one. We need multiple enemies to make it worth our while.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not hide our gold. We leave it in plain site. No one touches it.

A Rogue Pirate Ninjas does not cry when a comrade dies. This is because Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not die.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not breathe. It makes too much noise.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas only wear one color; darkness.

The sun has never shone on a Rogue Pirate Ninja. This is because we are too quick.

Fire can not hurt a Rogue Pirate Ninja. It can only make the motor oil less cold.


Written by xxoozero.

Song of the Moment
Dead Presidents II- Jay-Z

"I'm out for dead fucking presidents to represent me."

Well This was an Interesting Couple of Days...

First : Chelsea wupped Barcelona 1-0 in London.

Second : Real Madrid wupped Barcelona 2-0 in Madrid.
(You can tell I'm not really a big Barca fan. In fact, I despise them. Every single blue and red one of them. Maybe it has to do with the fact that everyone I know is a fan of theirs. That leads to repeated taunts and jeers from everyone around me. But we got em good !! In a row !! Long live The Blues and Los Merengues !!!! )

Third : The operation was successful, and she's feeling ok. Doctor says she can leave next week.

Fourth : I'm back to talking to the only girl I ever cared about. We've been through a rough time, but I guess we're finally over it. The past is the past, right ?

Fifth : Today is 3eed, so all the old farts in the family will make themselves useful by giving me shitloads of money. For which I am deeply grateful for. Thank you old farts, for giving me lots of money on which I will use on useless shit that makes me feel better about myself. Your charity is much appreciated.

Sixth : I finally found me a new dealer, so all my hash shortage problems have disappeared. Woohoo !!

Seventh : I shaved my head. Again. For the 2nd time in a year. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I look like a retarded experimental space monkey. Imagine this guy here, but without the hair and with glasses and huge belly, and you'll get the general idea.

Eighth : I haven't studied shit yet. Nothing at all. Keep in mind I am in my senior year, which means I have to study very very much. I haven't even thought about what I want to study in college or where to apply !! I'm thinking psychiatry, but I sure as hell won't be applying here in KSU. London perhaps ?

Ninth : Two and a Half Men is THE funniest show ever. Whoever gets me the first 2 seasons will forever have my eternal gratitude.

Tenth : My wife is going to be a woman who watches, loves and appreciates football and it's little details and intricacies as much as I do. That is my #1 request in a future wife. Ash, you have a very lucky husband. Got a younger sis ?
(This was brought to mind when a cousin of mine started a conversation about who has the best striker. When I previously thought that she doesn't even know the offside rule. Suffice to say, she supprised me mightily.)

Song of the Moment
Just To Get By- Talib Kweli

"This morning, I woke up
Feeling brand new and I jumped up
Feeling my highs, and my lows
In my soul, and my goals
Just to stop smokin, and stop drinkin
And I've been thinkin - I've got my reasons
Just to get by"

Someone very close and dear to me has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She's having an operation in the hospital tommorow so the doctors can try to remove the tumor. Everyone please pray with me in these final nights of Ramadan so she can make a full recovery Inshalla.

9 Things Every Evil Villain Needs

1. You need a castle
Preferably one in the mountains of some remote eastern European country. When shopping for a good stronghold, always remember to look for proper dungeon space, good schools, and a self destruct option. A skull on the exterior announcing your evilness to all visitors is optimal. Make sure you opt for full coverage homeowners insurance, as the self destruction option will inevitably be put to use at some time during your career.

2. You need an army of ninjas
A lot of villains overlook this. You must be able to back up your demands with good old fashioned ass kickings, the kind of ass kickings that can only be delivered by roving gangs of rogue ninjas. Make sure you do not hire ninjas without reputable references, as most ninjas on the market nowadays are just out of work pirates in black costumes.

3. You need a laser
No plan for world domination is complete without a laser to point at things. Lesser villains use laser pointers to disrupt movie premiers. Note that this does not count as having a laser. This only counts as being an asshole.

4. You need a video camera
You have to have some way to announce your plans to the world, and by video camera, I don’t mean a ten dollar webcam and YouTube. Don’t be so cheap. The world will never take you seriously, no matter how many ninjas you may have, if you are featured on websites next to the Numa Numa kid.

5. You need a tank of sharks
You do not need any shark food. It is a good idea to store them in what looks like a regular pool so when the hero tries to penetrate your fortress and decides to take a leisurely swim he will get eaten. It may sound ridiculous, but studies show that 90% of all heroes who have attempted infiltration are eaten by sharks while swimming in villain’s pools.

6. You need a British accent
No one quite knows what it is, but there is just something sinister about the way people from Great Britain talk. Just the sound of it inspires thoughts of arrogance and indifference. Skeletor, the greatest villain in history, seems to be the lone exception. He doesn’t even have to talk to be evil.

7. You need a staff of imbeciles
Every villain with any real aspirations of world domination surrounds himself by at least six or seven people who can and most likely will fuck everything up. These people are kept on the payroll to make you look good with the stipulation that they will eventually be killed for their insolence. They understand this when they are hired. The trick is to kill them at the second before they hit the self destruct button prematurely.

8. You need a control room
It has to have a lot of computer stuff in it and some guy who lives there. The guy who lives there has to know everything about everything and advise you in a wise way. Of course, this is advice you piss on every chance you get, but it is always good to have it around to curse when your plans fail.

9. You need a monkey
The reason no villain has ever conquered the world is because he has never had a monkey. It is a proven fact that a man with a monkey can not be defeated. Do not argue this with me. I have a monkey, you can not win.

Argh !! Tagged by Taqo.

Last birthday? About a week ago. October 5th. Finally turned 17.

Last meal? Meat kofta for s7oor.

Last spending splurge? Got a B-day gift for someone, but I don't think they're getting it anymore.

Last time you cried? No clue.

Last career? Summer job a Jareer Bookstore 2 summers ago. Worked the Arabic books section.

Last website visited? digg.com

Last person you spoke to? Mother.

Last song you listened to? Seerat el 7ob- Um Kalthoom. Been into the oldies lately.

Last book you read? Ahhh.....Errrr...Does Maxim magazine count ?

Last TV show watched? Lost season 2 episode 7.

Last person you IM’d? Ruba dub dub.

Last word you said? "How would you feel about me being a chef ?" *Shoe is thrown at head* "Ouch !! KIDDING !!"

Musings

* I haven't been online for about a week now. Almost went mad. My dad thought it would be "fun" to deprive me of the net while he went to Mecca. Seeing as that I do nothing else except sit online when staying at home, it wasn't pretty sight.

*I <3 Prison Break. Just finished season one and currently downloading season two. The guy actually commits a crime so he can get into prison to break out his, surprise !!, innocent bro, who's gonna be executed. Best moment : When the fag takes a damn razor to the mob boss's neck. Ha ! Ruined it for you didn't I ? Wonder if Saudi prisons got this much drama.

*Swamped with exams this week. Good thing it's almost over. God I need this coming vacation BAD. Also need extremely large amounts of hash. Thundercat, I'm looking your way. A friend is coming to Shargeeya for a couple of days. Wouldn't be a bad idea to go and say hi. DJ Tiesto having a concert in Bahrain too. Need to check that out. Thundercat, I am totally serious. Get back to me. 18 days of nothing to do. Back in Eden.

* "Have you ever been insulted, and just stood there and thought 'What the hell am I supposed to say to that ?' Trinidadians have that ability, it's second nature to them. They can think of the most creative insults that leave you still trying to firgure out what's going to happen to you. For example - when I was in Trinidad, there were these two guys arguing on the street. The one guy - now think what you would say to this - he goes 'You're gonna get shot with shit, and then arrested for smelling stink !' Isn't that insane ? There isn't just one thing going on here. First you're getting shot. But not with any normal gun - you would need a gun big enough to hold shit. So now you have been shot with shit, and you're covered in it. Then a cop pulls up and arrests you for smelling bad. Can you imagine that ? Do you realise how quick you would have to be to think of that on the spot ?"

------> Russell Peters kicks ass. Buy his new DVD 'Outsourced' Or better yet, download it like I did !! BE A MAN !!

*Best movie ever : Fight Club.

* Tash is making alot of noise this year. I don't remember the last time people got so worked up every day over the latest episodes. It's crazy !! First with the Egypt episode (Which by the by, is completely realistic in every way, from the cabaret [club] to the girls dressing in abayas to get in the hotel), the Lebanon episode (Ga9abi is HILARIOUS), Irhab Academy (People are still mad bout that one), the one where they spilt the town in middle (WAIN EL F7OOLAH ?!), the Da3s and 3arja episode (The first one was pure comedy gold. When they first showed the 3arja clan with the limping camel in the background, I literally farted from laughing.) and today's Bluetooth Scandal (The KSU professor who kicks people out for questioning him is eerily real.)

All they need now is to release everything, from the first season till now, on DVD boxsets. Get with the program !! Commentaries, banned episodes, remastered episodes and the whole shebang !! I would be the first one to shell out some greens for this, IF and only IF they do it the right way. Trust me Tash people, everyone will pay for this. Just do it right.


PS: Anyone know any site where I can download this year's tash ?

Song(s) of the moment
Suicidal Thoughts- Notorious B.I.G
Come Home With Me- Cam'ron