NIPPLES !!!

Nipples : "Strange tasting and textured breast protudence that has incredible elasticity. When placed between teeth and pulled until it is about to pop off, will result in your woman asking for more."

NIPPLES.

Sounds fun huh ?! Say it with me. N-I-P-P-L-E-S. Sounds good. Sounds fun. They are fun !! Nipples are THE funnest thing ever. Funner than even Tennis Balls !! Imagine you walking around with no Nipples whatsoever. Sex would be boring, cus with Nipples, come Tits, which always rock no matter what. See-through shirts would be worthless. No such thing as wet t-shirt contests. There would no need for any bikinis anymore. You'd just be walking around with a chest as flat as your ass. Horrible. Thats why Barbie and Ken suck so much.. THEY HAVE NO NIPPLES !!! I don't how they lived with themselves. I personally, would have killed myself.

No Nipples. Disgusting and Horrifying.

As the great Howard Hughes once said : "Sure. Who doesn't like tits ?"

In the 50s, they used to have nipplectomy. Many men found Nipples "disturbing". They were too much fun. Tits, as a word, is worse. Tits. It's final. But Nipples...keeps bouncing back and forth. I's gots nipples, yous gots Nipples, everyones gots Nipples.

Plus, they have lots of uses !! Breastfeeding babies, milk from cows, breastfeeding guys, breastfeeding girls, err.....umm....cleavage and ahh......oh and piercings !!

A Nipple, of a hairy man, which is pierced with an 8ga curved barbell, through the middle of the Nipple.

For the ignorant, Nipples come in many shapes and forms. Big and small, light brown and dark brown, two or three, milky or milkless, etc...

For more info, check the words here, here, and here.

And always remember, Nipples are supposed to be for everybody !! So if you're a girl, then take your shirt off, and strut your thang ! Guys, keep your shirts on please. No one wants to see your Nipples. Trust me they don't look good.

NOTICE : FEMALE NIPPLES WERE NOT PLACED IN THIS ARTICLE FOR FEAR OF BEING BLOCKED, GETTING MY ASS KICKED BY NUMEROUS GIRLS AND GETTING PUSSYWHIPPED BY A CERTAIN POOPSIE WHO THINKS WATCHING PORN IS WRONG. IF YOU ARE A GIRL AND CURIOUS ABOUT HOW GIRLS NIPPLES LOOK LIKE, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY BLOND AND SHOULD BE PUT DOWN AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. IF YOU ARE STILL CURIOUS, TAKE YOUR BRA OFF YOU DUMBASS. IF YOU ARE A GUY AND CURIOUS ABOUT HOW GIRLS NIPPLES LOOK LIKE, YOU ARE A POOR, SAD EXCUSE FOR A MAN. GO WATCH A PORN MOVIE OR SOMETHING. I HIGHLY RECOMEND THE PARIS HILTON ONE. SHE GOT GREAT TITS. AND......YEAH THAT'S ALL.

Fedo, Mi Amigo...

...Never ever call me, or my girls, liars ever again.




Bella and Doomy's email.



And Monz email.


Ball's in your field boyo.


(for the confused and lost going WTF, check the comments on the last post)

I (Heart) Airheads and Bimbos.

Summer of 2006. A time that will forever live in infamy in the records of Saudi blogs. For the ignorant, it was a time of fear. A time of discord. And a time for discovering. Prominent blogs were silenced for no reason, others just.....disappeared into thin air (Farah where you at babe ?!). But this summer, will be remembered mostly for one event only : The Great Airhead Debate. A battle that was started at first by popular blogger Fedo's post, swiftly followed up by another airhead related post by blogger Dottson. The first shots were fired in the battle of sexes. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, came this :

Funny, in a despicable sort of way. The so-called "Airheads" didn't stay silent however, led by Mona "The Flower of the Kitchen" and the seductively deadly Brazilian Bella, coming up with a one two punch aimed at the newly christened "Attention Whores".
I'm sure that this fight is not over yet ladies and gentleman. Who will have the last laugh ? We'll just to wait and see !!

A suggestion, if I may ladies : I think you should combat hate and haters everywhere, while spreading your message of love and fashion everywhere !! How could you do that you ask ? Why, by starting your very own group !! Society Of Saudi Airheads and Bimbos. SOSAB. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think ? In the spirit of good, clean, heterosexual fun, I also suggest that these ladies be your official mascot :

I would have the pleasure of playing the part of Professor Utonium, while Buttercup is Mona, defined by her tomboish demenor, bitchy attitude and conversations about her shit. Bubbles is Bella, defined by her innocence, beauty and carelessness. Blossom ladies, is up for grabs. Anyone wanting to represent her is welcome to leave their qualities and why they want that role in the comments.

As the great Jay-Z once said :

"I got this young chick, she so immature
She like "Why you don't buy me Reeboks no more?"
Like to show-out in public, throw tantrums on the floor
Gotta toss a couple dollars just to shut up her holler.....

I got this model chick that don't cook or clean,
But she dress her ass off and her walk is mean,
Only thing wrong wit' ma, she's always on the scene.
Goddamn, she fine, but she parties all the time."

Be she airhead or bimbo, blonde or brunette, dumb or stupid, I love all ya'll girls. It is a man's world, but it ain't worth nothing without a woman or a girl.


NOTICE : THIS POST IS NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE. SCRATH THAT, I WANTED TO OFFEND AS MANY GIRLS AS POSSIBLE. MOST WON'T EVEN FIND IT FUNNY. BUT I DO. AT LEAST WHEN I WROTE IT, IT WAS FUNNY. HAHAHA. IF YOU WERE OFFENDED BY THIS POST IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM, THEN YOU GO ON AND TELL THE WORLD WHAT A COLD HEARTED ASSHOLE WHO EATS BABIES AND BATHES IN THE BLOOD OF VIRGINS I AM. I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU SAY OR THINK ABOUT ME. I REALLY DON'T. I WILL NOT SEND YOU EMAILS WITH EMPTY THREATS, AND I WILL NOT BLOCK YOU FROM COMMENTING, LIKE SOME HAVE ALREADY DID. BUT I DO LOVE AIRHEADS. AND BIMBOS. AND ATTENTION WHORES. IN FACT, WHY DONT WE ALL HAVE ONE BIG ORGY SO WE CAN SHARE THE LOVE ? THINK ABOUT IT AND LET ME KNOW. THANK FOR VISITING MY LOVING BLOG. PLEASE COME AGAIN. BTW I'M STILL ON VACATION. OK I'LL GO NOW. BYE.

I'm in Egypt...

...and bored out my skull. Just saw Superman Returns. If you haven't seen it, then do it. Waiting for some jackasses to pick me up. If anyone wants to meet up (which I highly doubt anyone does) let me know. Dont expect any updates till I come back. I know it's hard, but you'll just have to live without me for a while. Don't worry, you'll get through it. CIOA

A Modern Man.

I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural post-modern deconstructionest, politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced and know the upside of downsizing and know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high-tech lowlife, a cutting-edge state of the art bi-coastal multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

I'm new wave, but I'm old school, and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hotwired, heat-seeking warm-hearted cool customer, voice-activated and bio-degradable. I interface on my database, and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive and I'm hyperactive and, from time to time, I'm radioactive.

Behind the 8-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging a bullet, pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top and under the radar. A high-concept, low-profile medium range ballistic missionary, a smart bomb, a top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing big foot, slam dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic, out of rehab, and IN DENIAL.

I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down, cus I'm tireless and I'm wireless. I'm an alpha male on beta-blockers. I'm a non believer and an overachiever, laid back but fashion forward, upfront, down home, low rent and high maintenance. Supersize, long-lasting, high definition, fast-acting, oven ready and built to last. I'm a loose knee jerk headcase, prematurely post-traumatic and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

But I'm feeling, I'm caring, a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary care giver. My output is down, but my income is up, I take a short position on a long bond, and my revenue stream has it's own cashflow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports. I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex, I like tough love. I use the F word in my email, and the software on my harddrive is hardcore, no softporn !! I bought a microwave at a mini mall, I bought a minivan at a megastore, I eat fast food in the slow lane, I'm tollfree, bitesize, ready to wear and I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-washed, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, postal dated, freeze-dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal, lean and mean, cocked locked and ready to rock, rough tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride, driving and moving, sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving, wailing and winning. I don't snooze, so I don't lose, I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road, I party hardy, and lunchtime is crunchtime. I'm hanging in, there ain't no doubt, and I'm hanging tough, Over and Out.

-George Carlin.

Sa2alooni el nas,
3annak ya 7abeeby,
Kataboo el makateeb,
W a5ath'ha el hawa,
Bi3z 3alay,
'3ani ya 7abeeby,
La awal marra,
Ma bnkoon sawa....

Sa2alooni el nas,
3annak ya 7abeeby,
Kataboo el makateeb,
W a5ath'ha el hawa,
Be 3z 3alay,
'3ani ya 7abeeby,
La awal marra,
Ma bnkoon sawa....

Sa2alooni el nas,
3annak sa2alooni,
Eltilhm raje3,
2oo3a tloomoony,

Sa2alooni el nas,
3annak sa2alooni,
Eltilhm raje3,
2oo3a tloomoony,

'3am6t 3yooni ya 5awfi el nas,
Shoofoo kam 5abaa b3yooni,

Hab el hawa w bakkani el hawaa,
La awal marra,
Ma bnkoon sawa...


Sa2alooni el nas,
3annak ya 7abeeby,
Kataboo el makateeb,
W a5ath'ha el hawa,
Bi3z 3alay,
'3ani ya 7abeeby,
La awal marra,
Ma bnkoon sawa....

28 Rules of Manhood.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss’s car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”.
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.

16: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend”
have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever. We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”
“BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!”


Thank you so much for this, Mr. Dean Hunt.