Does anyone other than me find this disturbing ?

A Spark

Changing the world. Is it too big of a dream ? To actually do something that the lives of people all around the world, and have them remember you for it. To have your name recorded forever in the annals of time of the dusty pages of history. This sudden inspiration came from literally out of nowhere, and everywhere at once. In the 3th century AD, there came a self proclaimed "Prophet" called Mani. This Mani just appeared out of nowhere and changed the status quo overnight. At a time where the worship of twin gods was the fashion in Persia, Mani proclaimed love and equality for everyone and respect of all gods. And the fascinating part of his story was that the Emperor of the time allowed him to preach his sermons all over his empire, even though it was in direct conflict with the state's official religion. His religion, Manicheasnism, grew into a world religion that rivaled Christianity in strength. Nowadays, no one remembers Mani or what he has achieved through his lifetime, but just one person changed the world by his hand. Is it too ambitious to dream of that ?

Today I went to a hospital to visit an old and sick relative. I was struck and amazed by just how....beautiful the place was. All over the place the name of Allah was literally everywhere. On the walls, in paintings, in every Qu'ran put in every room and even written the exterior of the building itself. What ruined that experience was finding my old aunt in a room all buy herself. A very old and wised woman, she was diagnosed with cancer a while ago, and in and out of the hospital it was for her. The thing is she was all by herself. Completely alone. Is this how it all ends ? In a hospital room by myself ? What will my legacy be ? Right, I leave my children and their children to this life after giving birth to them, but is that all ? I mean, what happened to the Muslim civilization of days old ? I read and see what these people have done in the past and I think; why not me ? What am I doing to deserve their recognition ? How can I change the world ? And the more I think of it, the more I just draw... a blank. I need purpose and direction, neither of which I can find here and now.

(This post was written on the 1st of December 07. The aunt I mentioned passed away a couple of weeks ago. May God bless her and guide her into heaven.) 

Overheard

Explaining a Breakup To a Gamer

SergioThree: there's other fish in the sea, man, she's just a girl.
Beatsfromkorea: no dude, that's bullshit.
Beatsfromkorea: Think of it this way. if your precious copy of street fighter third strike broke and i told you "it's ok man, there's other games in the sea. here, play mortal kombat instead" what would you say? you'd be like, "fuck that, gimme third strike."
SergioThree: ...
SergioThree: you just reached me on a level that i never thought possible.

How I Imagine Job Interviews

Real Businessman: What would your friends say is your best quality?
Me: Well, I think they'd say that I have a great sense of humor.
RB: Really? Make me laugh.
Me: You mean, like, tell you a joke?
RB: Yeah, sure.
Me: O- okay. Knock knock--
RB: Get the fuck out of my office.

Sometimes You Just Have to Die Before You're Appreciated...

Caveman 1: Hey check this thing out, it's shaped like a circle and it moves around easier than big rocks.
Caveman 2: What are you gonna use it for?
Caveman 1: I don't know, but I'm gonna call it a wheel, just remember I invented the wheel.
Caveman 2: It's really not that great, what are you gonna do with it?
Caveman 1: I don't know dude, wheel it around I guess, shut up! You're always nay-saying! You did this when I invented the plate too!
Caveman 2: Well the wheel is the same thing as a plate, the only difference is it has a hole in the middle.
Caveman 1: Yeah, you're right, it's really not that great is it?
Caveman 2 : No, not really
Caveman 1: Wanna go kill a Woolly Mammoth?
Caveman 2: F*ck. Yes.

Orignally from here, here and here.

Exams in a week. Pray for me. Laterz.

Song of the Moment
Make Me Better- Fabulous feat. Ne-Yo

Ch-Ch-Check it Out

Is it just me, or are there not alot of Saudis blogging in English anymore ? I know I'm one of those who abandoned their writings due to the realities of everyday life, but come on people. I opened up my blogs bookmark page, and half of the blogs there havent been updated for months, and quarter actually deleted. Kudos to those who still keep their blogs up and running, even if the updates are few and far in between.

Now to the subject at hand, the point of this post. Err....there isn't really one. Sorry to disappoint. Not in the mood to study anything, thought I'd be able to come up with something here. Let's see :

• Teachers cheat. Maybe they'll send us some for our exams ?
• Kids are sick nowadays. So very very sick.

I'm thinking of writing something for my school yearbook. Leave my mark somehow. No idea what to write about though. Thoughts people ? If anyone's still reading this anyways, ideas would be appreciated. Later.

Song of the Moment
Return Of The Tres- Delinquent Habits

At Peace

119 days. I haven't been here for 119 days. That was the last time I wrote anything, and that was the last time I've been on this site. Where have I been ? Around I guess... Here and there. Dealing with life as we all do. Lots of stuff have happened this past year which have... hampered my desire for writing. Hell I've been out of everything. Just leave my MSN window open and talk to people when I feel like it. Still struggling through senior year and all the baggage coming with it. The teachers and studies and applications to colleges..... and the list goes on.

But today was different. Today was somehow, the first time I've felt at peace, truly at peace, for as long as I remember. It started normally enough : Woke up, dragged myself out of the bed, went to school, did my quizzes and went to my periods. Then I went to pick up a copy of my report card from the student counselor. And we got to talking. An hour passed by, and I'm still sitting at his desk, listening to him recount stories of his children and how they turned out in his eyes. I mean, this man didn't even know I existed before a couple of weeks ago, and he's recounting me personal things that someone in my position was not entitled to for any reason. Yet there I was, sitting on a leather chair and listening intently. I left the guy's office in peace. Don't how, don't know why. I just did.

Anyways, just wanted to share that. Most of you think I'm some kind of wuss now. Think again bitches. And don't expect any constant updates too. I'll update when I damn well feel like it. Later peeps

Song of the Moment:
I Tried- Bone Thugs N Harmony

Death Of A Tyrant

"The Tyrant is dead. Long live the Republic"

"Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti; (April 28, 1937 – December 30, 2006), was the President of Iraq from July 16, 1979 until April 9, 2003, when he was deposed during the 2003 invasion of Iraq. As the leader of Iraq and head of the Baath Party, he promoted secular pan-Arabism, economic modernization, and Arab socialism at the same time that he practiced one-party rule, censorship, and violent repressions, especially against Iraq's Shia, Kurdish and Marsh Arab populations.

As vice president under his cousin, General Ahmed Hassan al-Bakr, Hussein tightly controlled conflict between the government and the armed forces by creating repressive security forces and cementing his own firm authority over the apparatus of government. As president, Hussein ran an authoritarian government and maintained power and stability in the country. During his rule the Iran-Iraq War (1980–1988) and the Gulf War (1991) took place, and his rule was ended by the Iraq war. He repressed movements deemed threatening to the stability of Iraq, particularly those of ethnic or religious groups that sought independence or autonomy along tribal lines. He was and remains a popular hero among many Sunni Iraqis and Arabs for remaining defiant toward Iran, Israel, and the United States and supporting the Palestinian cause. However, he is hated by many Iraqis for the murder of their relatives and loved ones. His execution has been met with a combination of anger and joy.

Hussein's government collapsed as a result of the 2003 invasion of Iraq led by the United States, and he was captured by American forces on December 13, 2003. He was found hiding in a hole in the ground, beneath a small walled compound on a sheep farm near Tikrit, his ancestral town.

On November 5, 2006, Hussein was convicted of crimes against humanity by the Iraq Special Tribunal in a trial many considered fundamentally unfair and was sentenced to death by hanging.

On December 26, 2006, Hussein's appeal was rejected and the death sentence upheld. According to Iraqi television reports, he was hanged in the early morning Baghdad time (06:05 hours locally or 03:05 UTC) on December 30, 2006 in front of a group of official witnesses made up of lawyers, officials, and a doctor.

Ali Al Messedy, Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki's official photographer, filmed the dictator's execution. He told the press of the Sadaam's last moments. On the way to the gallows, according to Ali, "Hussein said, ‘Iraq without me is nothing'." He also reported Saddam's fear.

His final reported words were: "God is great. The true Iraqi nation will be victorious and Palestine is Arab"."




His death came as a shock to alot of people, who had just come back from the Eid prayer and sacrificing the sheep, to be stunned with pictures of the former leader with a noose over his neck. People, regretfully divided over his death, with some calling him the only person able and powerful enough to hold down the bloodthirsty Iraqi people. To those people I say, where was Iraq during the previous 1400 years ? The pinnacle of civilization during the Middle Ages, with people coming from all across the civilized world to the once great cities of Baghdad, al-Basra and al-Kufa for education, trade or just to gaze upon those majestic Islamic cities. Now, and for future generations, they will be remembered as cities where this or that suicide bombing happened, nothing more, nothing less. To others, who thought that he deserved it, well I ain't got no beef with you.

Yet no one is innocent in this great tangled web of ours. Saddam has killed many people, innocent and otherwise. We don't need a court of law to know that he is guilty, guilty and guilty of all that hes has done, and even more hideous and grotesque crimes that none of us know about. Is the unlawful war with Iran which HE started and the invasion of Kuwait not enough ?! He ruled through terror, and an entire generation grew up under him knowing only poverty, fear and death. Countless people have lost family and friends to his Republican Guard, guilty of only speaking out their minds. Don't talk to me about how he's the saviour of the Arab World, the one who was suppose to free Palestine and lead us to victory. He never was that. There is no one coming to save us. There never was anyone coming to save us. Gamal Abdel Nasser is dead, and with him the dream of a United Arab State. Saddam is a murderer, and he deserved what he got.

So this means I support the American invasion of Iraq ? NO. Bush LIED to the world about everything from the start, just to get revenge on the dude who tried to kill his pappy. WMDs, yellow cake uranium, connections to Al-Qaeda, all that jazz....lies. And when he gets there, he suddenly "remembers" that, no !! "I came to free the Iraqi people from the oppression of Saddam !! I will give them DEMOCRACY." Well Mr. Bush, seems that the Iraqi people don't care much for your "DEMOCRACY" But now since that your here, you might as well stay, cus I don't think our friends to the north are doing very well with you around, so imagine how it'll be once you leave ? Wasn't the walk in the park you imagined it to be now was it ? Yeah I think staying is the better option here, even though it won't really make a difference. Everyone has an agenda, and I doubt that everyone is ready to make a list of all his need and send it to Santa. So basically Mr. Bush, you have a full blown civil war on your hands here. Why ? Cus you wanted to be a big man and get the man who caused your pappy so much trouble in the past. This Mr. Bush, is called a quagmire. And you're right smack in the middle of it. Allah y3een el jamee3.

"The Tyrant is dead. Long live the Republic."

Happy Eid ya'll.

Adam Lives In Theory

Adam lives in theory,
Trying to turn stone into bread.
Masquerading like he got it figured out.
Cut off from the sunshine, only smart in his own head.
Leaving his descendants to hope and doubt.
Left to his devices, those worthless sacrifices.
Praying to the alter of his self.
Making pilgrimages, thinking he's religious.
Like he's got all the light, and no one else.

He takes the unsuspected,
Cause he knows they're not connected,
And he shows them how to be just as he is.
Virtually real, and commercially appealed,
To the lust of all the people where he lives.

Eve was so naive, blinded by the pride and greed.
Wanting to be intellectual.
Drifting from the way, she got turned down one day,
And now she thinks that she's bisexual.

Caught up in emotion,
Burning up in her devotion,
To the king of exploitation in the field.
She handed him her virtue,
Cause he told her "I won't hurt you."
So she lay with him to see how good it feels.

Now can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now ?
Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now ?
Now can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now ?
Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now ?

Now after the sensation, and the empty fornication,
She brought affection home into her bed.
Quickly multiplying,
Now the 3 of them are dying,
By the poison she perceived to be good health.
Now Eve and her husband, are perverted in their judgment,
Cause everything appears to be the same.
They entertain suggestion,
Next time just use protection,
Desiring to cover up their shame.

But much to their demise, poor decision closed their eyes,
To the very antidote to their dilemma.
Burning in their lust,
Both of them adulterous.
Destroying the original agenda.
Praying to the sky, in order to maintain a lie,
They exhausted every possible conclusion.
They can't even entertain the solution,
In a brain filled, with vain information and pollution.

Hiding from the truth,
He provided an excuse, to explain away his desperate situation.
When confronted blamed his wife,
Giving birth to carnal life.
Refusing to acknowledge what he done.

Now if we can't agree, with who created us to be,
Who says we're guilty everyone before his eyes.
Making no exceptions, since the day of our conception,
Predisposed to hating truth, and loving lies

Then can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now ?
Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now ?
Then can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now ?
Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now ?

Stop walking in pride, let the thief be crucified.
Un-learn everything you know, and let him teach you.
Line upon line, precept upon precept, say goodbye,
To this decaying social system.
He wants to know, how far we're willing to go,
If we love him like we say we do,
He will try us.

Just don't regress,
Or slip into hopelessness.
Once he's satisfied his love,
He won't deny us.

And then he'll tell us,
What, what we gonna do now,
Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now.

And then he'll tell us,
What, what we gonna do now,
Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now.

-Lauryn Hill.


Note : Adam and Eve are meant to convey mankind and womankind, not the first man and woman, but all of humanity.

TAGS

Tag #1 : Dotsson's (I think) drawing tag. I know that it got to me somehow, but not really up for looking how. Here it is :


What is it you ask ? Well, it's a woman (Girl) with absolutely no soul. Hence the white eyes. And she's evil. Hence the creepy ass smile. Why does her shoulder look like that ? Cus I just broke it.

MOVING ON....


Tag #2 : The Book Tag, started as far as I know by Fedo.
1) Grab the book nearest to you.
2) Go to Page 123.
3) Scroll down to the fifth sentence.
4) Post the next 3 sentences, the book's name and author and cover.


The Catcher In The Rye- J.D Salinger

"When the got out of school and college, I mean. You figured that most of them would probably marry dopey guys. Guys that always talk about how many miles they get to a gallon in their goddamn cars."










Any other tags I was tagged for and didn't know about, let me know.


UPDATE : RAWR ASKED ME TO POST THIS, AND HERE IT IS : THE SOUTH PARKED INSANITY. PHOTO MAY APPEAR DIFFERENT THAN REAL LIFE.

Guess Who's Back ? (No, It's not the Grinch Coming to Steal Christmas. Or Eid. Again. Or Hannukah. Whatever the Hell your Religion is.)

I haven't posted anything here for a month. Now I know that all my fans have been patiently waiting for the least sign on my return. I honestly was thinking about abandoning this blog. Not anymore. The number of people who told me I should come back wasn't that great, but they convinced me. I was also told that one day, I'll be the first in my family to write an actual full lengh novel. While I highly doubt that I will, the person who said that to me meant it, and for that I thank her deeply.

So what was I doin for a whole month and two weeks away you say ? Well, for one I was hooked on Warcrack (Darkspear server, Insaneti, lvl 25 warrior. Look me up.). Also been swamped up to my cerebellum with constant never-ending quizzes, which never seem to stop long enough for us to have a breather only to start up again. I am happy to announce that I am not currently in danger of failing anything, with the exception of Geology, who's teacher is a spiteful dick of man, and who was rewarded for his cruelty toward students with a car accident, and Math, which I have never been very bright in despite my constant attempts at paying attention, which miserably failed. Since then I was forced to get a tutor, who truthfully is a bit creepy. I also got back results from my TOEFL exam : 110/120 !! (Very good for those who are ignorant. About 90% or so.)

I plan on hopefully continuing my education in Britain, home of hot pasty blond chicks (I got a thing for blonds.), bad food, good football (Chelsea !!), expensive shit (35 SR for a pack of cigs !!), and bad teeth. Or Canada, home of hockey, fat horny grizzly bears, shitty ass weather and French speaking people. (I really don't know what Canadians do. Always remember Terrance and Phillip from the South Park movie when I think of em.). Unfortunately, as far as I know, our dear Ministry of Higher Education does not send people to Britain nor Canada for higher studies, instead sends ems to the US and China (China ?! WTF ?! Mn jdhm thol ?!). So if anyone of yalls know someone who knows someone *wink wink* hook me up will you ? Ill probably need all the help I can get. And NO, studying here is NOT AN OPTION, repeat NOT AN OPTION. I'm sorry girls, but if you want me then you'll have to follow me to wherever the hell I'll end up. New Zealand ymkn ?

Yeah I realize this post sucks, but I've been up since 9. Did a dumb 8iyas exam at school, took my mom shopping (Woman amaze me with their energy when shopping. Take her everywhere and she still wants more. Had to literally scream so I can get home.) , and had two sheeshas, so I'm not really in a writing mood. I'll be up and running within a few days. Gotta do all them damn tags. Later.


PS : Thinking of switching to Beta and changing the blog's name. Suggestions ?

UPDATE : THE MINISTRY OF HIGHER EDUCATION WILL START SENDING STUDENTS ON FULLY PAID SCHORLARSHIPS STARTING NEXT YEAR TO THE FOLLOWING COUNTRIES : BRITAIN, CANADA, FRANCE, SPAIN, HOLLAND, ITALY, GERMANY AND AUSTRIA. THEY WILL SEND PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO STUDY MEDICINE, ENGINEERING, ACCOUNTING AND LAW. REJOICE EVERYONE !!

Family Portrait.

Father is Deplorable and Tired.
Son is Proud and Arrogant.
Grandchildren are Uncomfortable and Scared.
Daughter is Ashamed and Remorseful.
Wife is Majestic and Lordly.
This is their Family Portrait.

Song of the Moment
Family Portrait- Pink

They Said...

"All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not."

" I see all this potential, and I see us squandering it. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V."

Song of the Moment
Promised Land- The Game

"I'm left with often, thoughts of how could you molest your daughter ?
They say that's ten times worse than manslaughter.
Man you oughta, be dead in a grave,
But it wasn't my call, so instead you sat in a cage."


Yeah I don't have nothing to write about. Sue me.

The Supposedly "New" Middle East

Before

And After

Click the title for the article. Thoughts, everyone ? Is this for better or worse, and why exactly ? Think it'll happen anytime soon ?

Song of the Moment
Dance with the Devil- Immortal Technique

"I'm falling and I can't turn back....
....I'm falling and I can't turn back"

Rogue Pirate Ninja FAQ

A Rogue Pirate Ninja is neither a pirate nor a ninja. Being half of each, we are stronger than both. We are also rogue.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not ask questions. We already know the answer. It is kill. It is always kill.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja eats only one thing for breakfast. That thing is fear, with a side of bacon.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja does not drink rum unless it is mixed with the blood of our enemies.

Female Rogue Pirate Ninjas can only have sex with other rogue pirate ninjas. Her pussy would kill a normal man.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not have children. We do however, on occasion, spawn a tiny Satan.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not sleep. We run until we are not tired anymore.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not use weapons. We do our killing the old fashioned way, with our bare hands.

The skull and bones on a Rogue Pirate Ninja’s flag are always real.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja does not get drunk, no matter how much we drink. However, we are always slightly buzzed.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja does not feel remorse. The only remorse felt is by those who cross a Rogue Pirate Ninja.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas believe in a supreme being. This is because we are the supreme beings.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not bleed. We drip motor oil.

Chuck Norris once met a Rogue Pirate Ninja. He wet himself. Twice.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja is not born. We are forged from the bones of the people we killed before we were even created.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja’s ship is made out of blood. It floats out of sheer terror.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja does not cast a shadow; only a trail of dead bodies.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja fears only one thing; that there is no one left to kill.

A Rogue Pirate Ninja never fights one on one. We need multiple enemies to make it worth our while.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not hide our gold. We leave it in plain site. No one touches it.

A Rogue Pirate Ninjas does not cry when a comrade dies. This is because Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not die.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas do not breathe. It makes too much noise.

Rogue Pirate Ninjas only wear one color; darkness.

The sun has never shone on a Rogue Pirate Ninja. This is because we are too quick.

Fire can not hurt a Rogue Pirate Ninja. It can only make the motor oil less cold.


Written by xxoozero.

Song of the Moment
Dead Presidents II- Jay-Z

"I'm out for dead fucking presidents to represent me."

Well This was an Interesting Couple of Days...

First : Chelsea wupped Barcelona 1-0 in London.

Second : Real Madrid wupped Barcelona 2-0 in Madrid.
(You can tell I'm not really a big Barca fan. In fact, I despise them. Every single blue and red one of them. Maybe it has to do with the fact that everyone I know is a fan of theirs. That leads to repeated taunts and jeers from everyone around me. But we got em good !! In a row !! Long live The Blues and Los Merengues !!!! )

Third : The operation was successful, and she's feeling ok. Doctor says she can leave next week.

Fourth : I'm back to talking to the only girl I ever cared about. We've been through a rough time, but I guess we're finally over it. The past is the past, right ?

Fifth : Today is 3eed, so all the old farts in the family will make themselves useful by giving me shitloads of money. For which I am deeply grateful for. Thank you old farts, for giving me lots of money on which I will use on useless shit that makes me feel better about myself. Your charity is much appreciated.

Sixth : I finally found me a new dealer, so all my hash shortage problems have disappeared. Woohoo !!

Seventh : I shaved my head. Again. For the 2nd time in a year. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I look like a retarded experimental space monkey. Imagine this guy here, but without the hair and with glasses and huge belly, and you'll get the general idea.

Eighth : I haven't studied shit yet. Nothing at all. Keep in mind I am in my senior year, which means I have to study very very much. I haven't even thought about what I want to study in college or where to apply !! I'm thinking psychiatry, but I sure as hell won't be applying here in KSU. London perhaps ?

Ninth : Two and a Half Men is THE funniest show ever. Whoever gets me the first 2 seasons will forever have my eternal gratitude.

Tenth : My wife is going to be a woman who watches, loves and appreciates football and it's little details and intricacies as much as I do. That is my #1 request in a future wife. Ash, you have a very lucky husband. Got a younger sis ?
(This was brought to mind when a cousin of mine started a conversation about who has the best striker. When I previously thought that she doesn't even know the offside rule. Suffice to say, she supprised me mightily.)

Song of the Moment
Just To Get By- Talib Kweli

"This morning, I woke up
Feeling brand new and I jumped up
Feeling my highs, and my lows
In my soul, and my goals
Just to stop smokin, and stop drinkin
And I've been thinkin - I've got my reasons
Just to get by"

Someone very close and dear to me has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She's having an operation in the hospital tommorow so the doctors can try to remove the tumor. Everyone please pray with me in these final nights of Ramadan so she can make a full recovery Inshalla.

9 Things Every Evil Villain Needs

1. You need a castle
Preferably one in the mountains of some remote eastern European country. When shopping for a good stronghold, always remember to look for proper dungeon space, good schools, and a self destruct option. A skull on the exterior announcing your evilness to all visitors is optimal. Make sure you opt for full coverage homeowners insurance, as the self destruction option will inevitably be put to use at some time during your career.

2. You need an army of ninjas
A lot of villains overlook this. You must be able to back up your demands with good old fashioned ass kickings, the kind of ass kickings that can only be delivered by roving gangs of rogue ninjas. Make sure you do not hire ninjas without reputable references, as most ninjas on the market nowadays are just out of work pirates in black costumes.

3. You need a laser
No plan for world domination is complete without a laser to point at things. Lesser villains use laser pointers to disrupt movie premiers. Note that this does not count as having a laser. This only counts as being an asshole.

4. You need a video camera
You have to have some way to announce your plans to the world, and by video camera, I don’t mean a ten dollar webcam and YouTube. Don’t be so cheap. The world will never take you seriously, no matter how many ninjas you may have, if you are featured on websites next to the Numa Numa kid.

5. You need a tank of sharks
You do not need any shark food. It is a good idea to store them in what looks like a regular pool so when the hero tries to penetrate your fortress and decides to take a leisurely swim he will get eaten. It may sound ridiculous, but studies show that 90% of all heroes who have attempted infiltration are eaten by sharks while swimming in villain’s pools.

6. You need a British accent
No one quite knows what it is, but there is just something sinister about the way people from Great Britain talk. Just the sound of it inspires thoughts of arrogance and indifference. Skeletor, the greatest villain in history, seems to be the lone exception. He doesn’t even have to talk to be evil.

7. You need a staff of imbeciles
Every villain with any real aspirations of world domination surrounds himself by at least six or seven people who can and most likely will fuck everything up. These people are kept on the payroll to make you look good with the stipulation that they will eventually be killed for their insolence. They understand this when they are hired. The trick is to kill them at the second before they hit the self destruct button prematurely.

8. You need a control room
It has to have a lot of computer stuff in it and some guy who lives there. The guy who lives there has to know everything about everything and advise you in a wise way. Of course, this is advice you piss on every chance you get, but it is always good to have it around to curse when your plans fail.

9. You need a monkey
The reason no villain has ever conquered the world is because he has never had a monkey. It is a proven fact that a man with a monkey can not be defeated. Do not argue this with me. I have a monkey, you can not win.

Argh !! Tagged by Taqo.

Last birthday? About a week ago. October 5th. Finally turned 17.

Last meal? Meat kofta for s7oor.

Last spending splurge? Got a B-day gift for someone, but I don't think they're getting it anymore.

Last time you cried? No clue.

Last career? Summer job a Jareer Bookstore 2 summers ago. Worked the Arabic books section.

Last website visited? digg.com

Last person you spoke to? Mother.

Last song you listened to? Seerat el 7ob- Um Kalthoom. Been into the oldies lately.

Last book you read? Ahhh.....Errrr...Does Maxim magazine count ?

Last TV show watched? Lost season 2 episode 7.

Last person you IM’d? Ruba dub dub.

Last word you said? "How would you feel about me being a chef ?" *Shoe is thrown at head* "Ouch !! KIDDING !!"

Musings

* I haven't been online for about a week now. Almost went mad. My dad thought it would be "fun" to deprive me of the net while he went to Mecca. Seeing as that I do nothing else except sit online when staying at home, it wasn't pretty sight.

*I <3 Prison Break. Just finished season one and currently downloading season two. The guy actually commits a crime so he can get into prison to break out his, surprise !!, innocent bro, who's gonna be executed. Best moment : When the fag takes a damn razor to the mob boss's neck. Ha ! Ruined it for you didn't I ? Wonder if Saudi prisons got this much drama.

*Swamped with exams this week. Good thing it's almost over. God I need this coming vacation BAD. Also need extremely large amounts of hash. Thundercat, I'm looking your way. A friend is coming to Shargeeya for a couple of days. Wouldn't be a bad idea to go and say hi. DJ Tiesto having a concert in Bahrain too. Need to check that out. Thundercat, I am totally serious. Get back to me. 18 days of nothing to do. Back in Eden.

* "Have you ever been insulted, and just stood there and thought 'What the hell am I supposed to say to that ?' Trinidadians have that ability, it's second nature to them. They can think of the most creative insults that leave you still trying to firgure out what's going to happen to you. For example - when I was in Trinidad, there were these two guys arguing on the street. The one guy - now think what you would say to this - he goes 'You're gonna get shot with shit, and then arrested for smelling stink !' Isn't that insane ? There isn't just one thing going on here. First you're getting shot. But not with any normal gun - you would need a gun big enough to hold shit. So now you have been shot with shit, and you're covered in it. Then a cop pulls up and arrests you for smelling bad. Can you imagine that ? Do you realise how quick you would have to be to think of that on the spot ?"

------> Russell Peters kicks ass. Buy his new DVD 'Outsourced' Or better yet, download it like I did !! BE A MAN !!

*Best movie ever : Fight Club.

* Tash is making alot of noise this year. I don't remember the last time people got so worked up every day over the latest episodes. It's crazy !! First with the Egypt episode (Which by the by, is completely realistic in every way, from the cabaret [club] to the girls dressing in abayas to get in the hotel), the Lebanon episode (Ga9abi is HILARIOUS), Irhab Academy (People are still mad bout that one), the one where they spilt the town in middle (WAIN EL F7OOLAH ?!), the Da3s and 3arja episode (The first one was pure comedy gold. When they first showed the 3arja clan with the limping camel in the background, I literally farted from laughing.) and today's Bluetooth Scandal (The KSU professor who kicks people out for questioning him is eerily real.)

All they need now is to release everything, from the first season till now, on DVD boxsets. Get with the program !! Commentaries, banned episodes, remastered episodes and the whole shebang !! I would be the first one to shell out some greens for this, IF and only IF they do it the right way. Trust me Tash people, everyone will pay for this. Just do it right.


PS: Anyone know any site where I can download this year's tash ?

Song(s) of the moment
Suicidal Thoughts- Notorious B.I.G
Come Home With Me- Cam'ron

How to Argue with Females

The Allied Invasion. The Trojan Horse. The Divine Plan. The following strategy puts them all to shame because it defines how to finally defeat the great beast of society: WOMEN.

Arguing with girls, like yoga, is a meaningless and inane exercise. A lot of guys hate doing it, most notably because it never seems like we can win. But you can win. Here's how.

Step 1. Abandon all logic. Girls don't use it, and you certainly shouldn't allow it to handicap you.

Step 2. If you believe strongly in something, do NOT give in to any aspect of it. Compromise is useless against girls, because they will rationalize that if they can get you to concede to one element, they can get you to quit on the whole fuckin' Periodic Table. (Nothing like a little chemistry humor, right?)

Step 3. Don't be afraid to take cheap shots. Ever argue with a girl about something and they randomly insult you with something that has no relevance to the argument? That's their way of trying to wear you down and push you off-topic. Fight fire with fire, I say. Tell her she has a fat ass, small boobs, an ugly face, disorienting facial hair, unwieldy hips, and is a genuinely awful person.

Step 4. Cite precedent. Girls have no concept of historical factors relating to the current situation. Most girls reading this just went over to dictionary.com to see what "precedent" meant.

Step 5. Interrupt her. Don't let her talk. Girls hate that like they hate other girls. It's hilarious, too. They get all frazzled.

Step 6. Don't take her seriously. Laugh at every point she deems serious in nature. Fart, if possible. Derail her emotional train.

Step 7. If the argument escalates, cut off all communication with her. If a girl can't find you, she can't continue arguing about bullshit. Change your phone number, relocate, and get a name change if you must.

Step 8. Don't be fooled by "Let's stop arguing please." That's their way of making you let your guard down, so they can swoop in after you're worn down. Instead, say something like "Yeah, all this being right is exhausting for me." Pisses them off. Just trust me.

Step 9. Compare her unfavorably with another girl. This is especially effective if the comparison is with a girl that they simply abhor. Tell her something like, "Lisa is so much more compassionate than you." Girls hate other girls, like a deer hates a shotgun. And how do you take down a deer? Exactly.

Step 10. Don't be intimidated by the water works. That's their ultimate contingency, knowing that guys can't deal with a crying girl. Stay strong, don't let yourself get emotional, just think of something funny. Replay scenes from "Office Space" in your head if you must.

Step 11. Bust out, "I don't feel like fighting. I've proven my point." Then stop. Leave the argument. It pisses them off because a guy's natural reaction is to resolve, whereas a girl's is to continue forever and ever until the end of time until they hear that they are right. If a guy decides that he is right and won't budge, their whole concept of male-female relations is shot to shit. Again, mind games.

Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag. Self-explanatory.

Step 13. When all else fails, tell her she's just like her mother. It's an ace-in-the-hole and will emotionally cripple her to such a degree she may even forget her whole argument.

Remember, girls are the less intelligent of the genders. All throughout history men have out-thought, out-invented, and out-created women in every facet of existence. Isn't it about time we won an argument for once? Gentlemen, that time is now.

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum. And one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape !! So they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... Stretching away to freedom.

Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daredn't make the leap. Y'see... He's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea. He says:
"Hey !! I have my flashlight with me ! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me !"

But the second guy just shakes his head. He...he says:
"What do you think I am ? Crazy ?! You'd turn it off when I was halfway across !!"